Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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