sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
