I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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