More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
