Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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