I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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