Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize