You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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