i used baking grease as lip gloss
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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