Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My ass is underappreciated
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
