If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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