I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
