sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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