Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
