Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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