Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize