I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
