I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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