shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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