how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
