Please, let me fuck your mom
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
