It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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