someone get that fucking seahorse.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
