This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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