Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
