reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
