peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's the barista slut.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
