I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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