We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
