i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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