when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have peed in a lot of sinks
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
