2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
