He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize