Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
