Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
