Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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