she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
