I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
