Me. At least after what I've been through.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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