I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
