Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
