I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
