Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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