Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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