Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
