I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize