she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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