You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
