He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
