I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
