Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
