My nipple is on Facebook.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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