Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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