Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
