you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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