the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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