i permit you to call me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
