once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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