So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
