Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
