Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
