found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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